Escapril Day 8: The weird in-between

What’s home? A place or people?
What if it’s somewhere in between — where I can never return?

I finished a five-month exchange and returned to Ottawa
Nine months since my uni studies in Toronto, 
Five months since living in Ottawa,
I felt lonely.

I’ve lived for YEARS in between Ottawa summers and breaks to Toronto studies.
Where’s my home when I’ve only learned to live in-between places?
Just a five-hour commute made my whole world feel different
From the people to the work opportunities.

I left a five-month exchange that felt like home,
And came back to Toronto, a city that once again felt unknown to me.
The day I came back, I felt disconnected.
I missed my friends back « home » and in Toronto.

I didn’t know the inside jokes,
I felt ignored, uncared for, unimportant —
Who was I to the friend group I once created?
Did I even matter?

I felt in between my « homes »
Did I even belong anywhere anymore?
I still feel this way and just wish to escape sometimes
Will I forever live in-between; or feel like I belong?